"I raise my hands and I surrender...~

"I always made it on my own,
I always thought that I would keep control,
You changed everything I believe in..
And now I just can't fight this feeling"

+ Twin Star'd to shukoi (The Leo to my Eshild)
+ Reasonably Mature with a Healthy Dose of Insanity
+ Self proclaimed MUSIC WHORE
+ Pervert
+ Fandom-ful
+ Open to New Friends
+

So now I have to learn how to use the shift on the right side of the keyboard since Lala has trampled my keyboard beyond all recognition. I'm waiting for Mines of Moria to upgrade on my laptop (LOTRO) and oh yes, I am so bugging mad about Lala destroying my keyboard. But anyways beside that point, I have been really interested in making stock photo icons. I actually did one of my favorite castle, Neuschwanstien.. and it looks rather well and almost ethereal, dreamy and misty, though I'm still rather pleased with how my Lucky Charms icon looks. (They're magically delicious).

Which brings me to my next subject... icons.

I usually do a specialty icon for Christmas. however I am going to expand it this to include ONE manga picture colouring. (Or black and white.. doesn't necessarily have to be manga per se.. just something with a complete absence of colour. I will colour the scan and then I will make it into an icon for you. (AND ONLY YOU). You will get both in the scheme of things.

If you choose to participate in this, I will need a scan or a request from you.

If you want me to surprise you, I can do that too... I will just need a rough list of things that you would like to see me icon and I'll pick something out of what you've chosen.

For those of you who don't want anything coloured. THEN link me to five pictures that you'd like iconed in some way shape or form (or send it to me via email) and I will do that.

I know, I know.. so many options, so little time.

Examples of my icons that have been black and white before I've coloured them:



HAPPY REQUESTING!

So I'm super excited about Thanksgiving in this household. I mean even more then I am for things llike Christmas. Why is this you ask? It is because of the TURKEY! It is because of the fact that shukoi makes the most wonderful and fabulous turkey ever. I mean it's something to truly fangirl and if this turkey was it's own series, I'd be the BNF of this fandom (or else everyone else dies). It's magical and delicious -because- it's brined in this wonderful maple and brown sugar substance, which makes the turkey so damn tender and juicy. Not to mention the drippings from which gravy is made.. as I was describing it, it is truly orgasmic in all the best ways.

The stuffing is also pretty awesome, because it has cranberries in it, and olives. Mmm olives. That makes everyone happy.

There are a select few staples for me during thanksgiving.. and I mean i can't have thanksgiving without olives (at all), and dinner rolls. But the olives are more important in the scheme of things. What else are you supposed to eat while you are waiting for the turkey to be done? (And I've gotten strange cravings for olives just recently.. where I will buy a can of olives and just eat the whole thing. Screw ice cream, screw potato chips.. JUST GIVE ME OLIVES.)

Most normal people crave candy, chocolate and/or salty stuff. I happen to want salty yummies rich in Omega-3. (As Bruce would say, "You're a wierd one, Nia" and he would be speaking the truth)

This leads me to another subject, cravings. I just don't crave normal things. Chocolate comes at THAT TIME OF MONTH (tm). And chips, occasionally I will get a really strong chip craving, but other then that I just rarely snack. When it comes down to it, I'd just rather have some toast or something simple. You know, honestly I had really crappy eating habits as a child.. and there are things that i can't kick *and refuse too.. like soda* but generally I've gotten -so- much better with my eating habits. I eat when I feel full now and I don't try to stuff myself *unless we go to Applebees once in a blue moon, to which point BRING IT ON, I WILL EATS IT ALL!* so I'm proud of myself on that score.

I think I've outworn my journal post, so well.. until I post again!

Okay, because of sharing with jazzymegstar my love of the cheesy music video for "The Chauffer" (by Duran Duran) in which nothing happens but a bunch of near naked chicks dance around together (the unrated version they are topless), I inadvertantly stumbled across the most AWESOME acoustic version of it, but it was on YOUTUBE. I NEED THIS VERSION because it makes it an infinitely warmer song, especially the guitars in it.

Work was exhausting and I'm sick. However nothing that a good dose of Nyquil won't fix. (And hot chocolate topped with fluffy readi whip, yummy goodness).

You know, I was reading about astrology and my houses, and Saturn happens to be in my third house which I thought was really interesting because it is the house of intelligence and learning, the process of communication. Did you know that people with learning disabilities usually have saturn in their third house.. it is because Saturn is the planet of struggle. Though it isn't just about learning disabilities, is about also alienation from people because of being communicatively different. I really thought it was interesting, and it really gave me pause to think. It is also where you are supposedly supposed to get hit hardest your first 29 years. I feel like I've certainly gotten better at communication, I am actually able to hold conversations with people, real life conversations with little awkwardity and I think that whenever I can, I take the chance to step outside and learn something new. When I was younger, I had dyslexia and a.d.d (not the hyperactivity). so I guess I feel personally empowered, and I think that's definitely a good thing.

That's it for random update. woot!

In a conscious effort to eat healthier, I've been packing my lunch. However I wants a bento box so much. There is this one that I'm pining over and well I just want it. I'm in love with it, all green blue and tier-esque. Mmmm I shall get it, I promise.

So does anyone else have anything that their just pining away for?.. it can be a simple thing of course.

You know, normally I don't like male characters that crossdress.. I also don't really like male characters that are overtly feminine. However evidentally if you throw in a chainsaw and a flair for the overdramatic, I tend to like them more. Why is this? I've not figured it out, but Grell is so damn dynamic and that's why I like him. He could wear all the dresses in the world, in fact I'll buy him ALL THE DRESSES HE WANTS! They can all be red, and if by some perverse train of thought, he wants pink, then why the hell not. He's the one with the chainsaw, not I... what he says, goes.

From what I've heard, one either really likes Grell..or one hates him. I'm of the camp that really likes him. (I wonder how hard it was for him to maintain that guise of meek butler without causing any trouble).

I also think Grell.. total Libran. He accuses Sebastian of being fickle when he himself danced between THREE people. William, Madam Red (yes evidentally he had a thing for her too) and Sebastian. He's not solely gay, I think that he's really just gay for power and that what it comes down to when he spouts off at the mouth.

I need more Grell icons.

And current song, it's such a Grell song.. I -always- associate it with him for some reason.. and that being said someone needs to make an AMV of him to this song.

It was Bruce's birthday last night (21st) so we all went out to the bar.. just a bunch of co-workers.. and god damn it, it was so fucking crazy. Needless to say that we all partied like 21 year olds, though for me it was the tequila that did it for me.. I definitely puked my guts out but not there, not like Bruce did. It was fun, definitely but definitely not something that I'm going to be repeating any time soon, a drunk sick type deal is something I only do once every couple of years.

I have a Lyle muse.. and I knew it'd happen. So it makes it even, I and shukoi each have a Dylandy twin.

Tieria and Feldt have gotten themselves some 'lylesluggers' in which to bash his brains in if he comes close to them, and well hijinks will probably ensue.

Lyle is a bit darker and enjoys music such as the Kills and Butterfly Boucher. I look forward to seeing if he joins any groups or interacts. We'll see.

~*~

Also, "Meh" has been added to the dictionary. HURRAH!

Second note, it's not thursday but it will be soon, I downed two shots of tequila rose to see if my utuerus would stop it's premeptive hurting. I think another one is in order. Mmm tequila rose is complete and total love. If I am a total bitch, it's probably because I'm about ready to go crashing into the crimson sea (and I hate it). Also I long for more Greil icons but I must cool my ardour. (Greil is so much motherfucking love, seriously. Honestly I wouldn't like that type of character *You know dresses, gender confusion and all that* UNLESS he was a homecidal maniac.) Because he has a giant fuckoff chain saw (errh Death Scythe), it makes that gender confusion QUITE ALL RIGHT. (My opinion is that you can get anyone to call you Miss when you are wielding a chainsaw.)

Really that I guess has my mad props for the week. I honestly couldn't of put it better myself.

Am I sick and perverted that my favorite character in Kuroshitsuji is Grell Sutcliffe?

Yeah, I think I probably am.

Gee that's a sexy death scythe you have there, Mr. Shinigami. Don't Kill Me With It PLZ!

Finally an ICON that JUSTIFIES the usage of "This Could Be Love" lyrics. That song.. it's SO Grell.

So anyways went into work last night and when I saw Caskey (and handed him his peanut butter cups) he was like "Hey, I creeped you out on Myspace" and I was like, "AHAHAHHA" and then he was like "HEY I FRIENDED YOU!". So I had to go back and friend him even though you know I rarely use Myspace. And so my count of Myspace Friends goes up one, I tried to see if Johnny was his friend, but of no avail.. he has Max as his friend, but damn it.. not Johnny. That sucks honestly.

Now that's what I call fun!

I'm consistantly amazed that no matter how shitty the freight day is, I always have an awesome time. First of all I got there, spent some time talking with Caskey and Johnny (since those two are my favorite unloaders, it's not time that I feel was wasted). Johnny got his twix bar and let's see, nothing else on that score... but those two are fun, my little saggitarius (Johnny) and aquarius (Caskey). Then I started on the freight which made me sniffle, but when first break came around, I managed to read Donnie out loud his darkside astrology. (The poor little aries). And then I wonder.. why is my favorites always seem to be air and fire? this is always how it goes.

Fun comes third break and it is SNOWBALL FIGHT.

At first I don't join in, I let John John (not to be confused with Johnny), Matt, Eric and Mark do their throwing. And of course I express envy that I can't go out there and say that I love throwing balls because I was in softball during high school. Chris, the new guy, offers me his gloves and I put them on.. they are too big but no matter.. I pick up a ball, pack it tight and then I aim it at Eric. I nail him RIGHT IN THE BALLS. The crowd goes WILD! Of course that merits that I start getting pelted, but that's okay.. I don't mind. Damn it, tomorrow bringing my gloves and my hat and I am going to bring the motherfucking PAIN.

Also Lisa came up to me last night and said that I wasn't like any lesbian she'd ever known before. She said I managed to be feminine without being girly and tomboyish without looking or acting like a guy. That made my day, considering that I've gotten to the point where I'm comfortable with who I am.. not what gender I was born to but rather who I am. Maybe I've just finally hit androgyny, or maybe I just don't have a whole lot to prove... I don't know. I'm comfortable with who I am, with my body.. with my face.. I am just who I am.. and I think that when people see me, they see my confidence.

TIME FOR SLEEPIES!

You know, I really just wanted an excuse to use this icon. (SIMON WITH HIS FAEC IN NIA'S C+++ whut? No seriously, she fell down the stairs ONTO SIMON'S FACE! That's PHYSICS FOR YOU KIDS! WONDEROUS WONDEROUS GRAVITY). For anyone that adores Gurren Lagann; if you haven't already, you should check out Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann Gakuen. It's mountains less depressing then the anime. And it has NIA FALLING ON SIMON'S FACE (ACCIDENTAL ORAL AHOY).

I really won't be able to beat this icon for a while, not to mention it gave me the opportunity to use the phrase that I penned a few months ago, the whole "Nothing says hello quite like a box to the face." (the one which Eric said he wants to make a T-shirt of *I'd so totally buy that.. and wear it underneath my walmart work shirt*)

I want a Grell icon from Kuroshitsuji.. I might make one of him hanging himself or something. (somehow I think that's cute, I also think his crush on Sebastian is also adorable). But I'm holding my thoughts on pairings for right now, and I'm going to continue to hold them until something clicks.

Also, they changed Surfer'sParadise. This depresses me, because now I have to get used to the sight all over again. (That's the primary site I use to browse Japanese fanart)

( SPOILERZ )

It seriously doesn't matter who you vote for.. just as long as you VOTE. I cannot stress that enough. (and granted you are over 18 years old).

That is one of the best things about being 18, you can legally look at porn.. and you can vote. So now since I've done my over 18 voting, I'm going to peruse some porn.. JUST BECAUSE I CAN! (the joys of being over 18, seriously)

I think I'm going through a major Crowded House phase. I caved and bought the live CD on Itunes, and I'd just like to say.. "WOW..". Honestly I was listening to that CD on my ipod most of the night and it's just.. wow, I am in love with their live stuff, I was in the bins sort of dancing around while I was listening to it.. I'm sure that Sherry was giving me wierd looks, but I'm such a music whore that it's easy for me to go dancey when I hear a song that I'm really grooving on. (Music is an integral part of my life.. I'd rather be blind then deaf.)

Anyways, the song that really hooked me was Word Where You Live {live} (Yes, as a matter of fact.. I DID upload it for you all to listen to). Just an AWESOME version of that song, I tend to really like live versions alot and just spotting the differences between album versions, there's so much that can vary there, subtle inflections. (I also noticed that Crowded House is the Kings of Sexual Innuendos.)

I seriously need to have all of Crowded House albums. I'm thinking that I may download an album every paycheck. It'd be worth it for me, I think.

Trying not to think about other things honestly, I'm going to be positive, or at least attempt to.

So anyways we definitely had paranormal activity in the men's department tonight. Seriously. It was the wierdest thing ever. I mean yesterday a cashier did die. (I don't know who exactly she was, I think I'll know when I end up not seeing someone or something along those lines.. I hope it's not the cashier that I'm thinking of honestly because she was REALLY nice. I'm really hoping.. *crosses fingers* But anyways it was VERY cold in softlines last night. I mean Sharon and I were working with our jackets on, and THEN I was listening to some Crowded House over while I worked, and suddenly my ipod began to skip. (I don't know.. do ipods normally skip?) And then I took it out to see if the time on the ipod was going too fast or slow, and then my eyes were drawn to the charge meter and suddenly I saw it plummet from a green charge to a red charge at a rapid space and so I made myself look like an idiot as I ran screaming from mens to the fitting room and was like "SHARON MY IPOD IS DRAINING, IT'S MARY OR.. SOMETHING!" and she caught the tail end of it, she saw the way my ipod went to a little red sliver of power. Then we look amazed as it started to rebuild itself up. (and believe me, I was touching absolutely NO buttons)

Then I decided to call up Eric in pets to see what temperature it was and he was like "Oh, it's quite warm" and then I was like "Uhoh.. the ghost is out"

"Ghost?" he said, evidentally this was the first time he'd heard about our ghost. Then he went, "I'm sensitive"

So he came charging over and he started to comb the area and said that it was definitely very cold over where we were working, then he managed to pick out the coldest spot in the entire area, which happened to be exactly where Mary died. I mean I wasn't all hysterical over it even though as far as ghosts go, I'm better then I used to be but conversely I used to be a fucking chicken-shit. But it was like, "WOW GHOSTLY ACTIVITY". My theory was that soomeone in the whole Wal-mart subsystem died and so the energy was all whacked out. I think it was in direct response to that person name Alice dying. I don't know though, we have three ghosts at Wal-mart though the only one I ever come in contact with is Mary.. and she'll usually not make her presence known unless I'm over at the fitting room, and then she usually spends the moments zoning (or what I hear it as)

It was also fun leaving Wal-mart at 7:00 and yet technically outside in the real world, it's 6:00. Of course it became six when we left but still.. it seemed like a very short night, trufax.. perhaps it's just the illusion of leaving at six that made it so short.

I think I may buy myself the Crowded House Live from Sydney Album.. because I bet Crowded House sounds FUCKING AMAZING live.

I pride myself on my honour.

I am not a saint granted, my thoughts are sometimes less then saintly. it's just a true fact of life. But I have this unspoken code. Sometimes though i get tempted to push the cord of my honour to see exactly how far it will go, I never do it however.. despite all of these -perfect- opportunities I get, I don't. I could of gone in for a kiss last night, I know I could of, but I did not. It was part fear on my part, overwhelming fear of rejection. I hate rejection like Marie Antoinette hates the guillotine and I wasn't too keen on being pushed away. And then upon going to bed, I had dreams reflecton my own heart, I had them yesterday night as well.. though that one was more a kiss, this one was more sex.

Well anyways that isn't interesting.

Last nights Suiseiseki costume was a real success I think. I pranced around Walmart in it, gave candy to my favorite Unloader. (secret: he really -is- my favorite unloader.. even though god damn it, tsundere!Matt and Caskey are both as cheek-pinching cute as hell.) Then we went to the casino where myself and Mary sang "Hungry like the Wolf". (secret: we probably sucked honestly.. though you know, to hell with that.. I don't care, I'm gong to have some motherfucking fun.. and half of those people in the casino.. too drunk to CARE!). Had my staple Long Island Iced Tea and then I got what Mary had, a grasshopper. (BEST THINGS EVER). I did not drink a whole lot.. but enough to definitely be cuddly by the time we got home to watch Rocky Horror Picture Show. (Ply me with enough alchohol and I'll go into madcuddlenz mode.)

I'm up, I'll take a nap later tonight and I'll probably go to sleep per usual when I get home so that I can do the whole D&D sunday thing.

All in all, when I went to bed yesterday afternoon, it was set to be the absolute suckiest Halloween ever, and then when I went to bed early this morning, it really hadn't been half bad. Amazing how things can change in the sparkling of an eye.

Also, the bloomers underneath my dress were so comfortable that I wore them to bed. I love these bloomers, I mean favorite part of the costume hands down (the red eye though was pretty FUCKING AWESOME) and the highlight of that was when Jennie was talking about her red eye and and the green one that she got (since her eyes are brown) and then Todd was like:

"Well Nia's green contact certainly works for her."

And both me and Jennie said at the same time "She/I'm isn't/not wearing the green contact"

That's because my eyes.. naturally green. TRUE REASON WHY NO ONE CAN PINCH ME ON ST PATTY'S DAY. AHAHAHAHAHA (win)